All of us have learned that while we must have money to survive and be comfortable, but we have also learned, the hard way I might add, that money can cause more problems than it is worth. It certainly doesn’t make a marriage, but it has broken more than one. Fights over finances are the main cause for dissolution today. Here we will discuss this in a bit more detail as we cover ten great tips that will give your marriage the financial trust and stability it needs to make it for the ‘long haul’.
Take advantage of these tips to change how you and your spouse look at, and deal with, your finances together:
Always keep the ‘book’ open
Complete and utter honesty are essential when it comes to your finances. You have to take personal responsibility and be honest regarding all income and outflow. There can be absolutely no secrets in this area if your family is to come out on top of the heap. A house divided will fall.
Plan major purchases together
Do you want your husband to come home with a new sports car without consulting you first? Well, neither does he want to come home to a new pair of diamond earrings unless he is independently wealthy. These are big chucks of cash we are talking about. ALL major purchases should be agreed upon and planned together. Never go behind your mate’s back.
No more ‘Mine’ and ‘Theirs’
It is now ‘ours’, forever and ever, amen. If you keep this fact in the forefront of your mind it will be much easier to respect your partner’s position in the matter. How would you feel if your spouse acted without you?
Respect the Other Name on the Lease
Or mortgage, or credit card application. You are married, so nothing is yours alone from here on out. Just as with your bank accounts and cash, so is your credit. It is vital that you are attentive to the financial needs of your significant other. It will help you keep a perspective of respect.
Treat you Mate
Look, your husband is forever courteous of your little whims. Your wife is attentive to your love of cars. You both make exceptions and you both make sacrifices. Acknowledge these truths to each other! If that means a dinner date, action flick, or cute shoes she loves, ‘foot’ the bill. It is the acknowledgement that is going to take your relationship, and your finances, to another level.
A Marriage has to know its Limitations
Okay, so Dirty Harry didn’t put it quite this way, but he certainly was right in any case. It is as easy as this: Do not spend beyond your means. Having credit doesn’t mean you have money. Sit down and lay boundaries together from the beginning. This means indulging the other with the cold, hard facts as they apply to what should and shouldn’t be spent. This far we can go, and no further.
Set your financial goals together
What do you want your family’s financial stance to be in 6 months? A year? Two? How are you going to accomplish your mutual vision? Each of you has an important responsibility, one that is exclusive and unique. Set goals together and carry the weight you should carry to meet them. Remember, marriage is a team sport.
You must PLAN, and you must do it together. Don’t go setting goals and then heading off in your own direction. It is essential that you remain on the same page throughout the duration of the ‘project’, and that requires proper planning. Remember, STICK TO YOUR PLANS!
Take risks, but take them TOGETHER
Success in any area of life, the success which goes above and beyond, requires that we take risks. When you are in a committed partnership it is essential that you understand the effects of any risks we decide to take on our partner. It is not just about you. Discuss, set goals, plan, and LEAP at the agreed upon time.
Prioritize your money
Listen, our finances are important, but they will not buy us love. It is ever evasive and without price. Recognize this, and then place your finances within their proper perspective. Money cannot and will not take the place of your spouse. Regardless of your nest egg, never lose sight of the truth.
Marriage takes commitment, but actually succeeding at it requires wisdom, in all areas. Finances may be one of the most important things you can consider, and your outlook should be observed and tweaked on a daily basis. Remember what it is, and keep its purpose in mind. Cherish the things which cannot be bought, and tread lightly. If you work with your partner in an open, honest manner you will maintain control of your relationship, your finances, and your life.